The world has always been chaotic. It has always been a bunch of moving parts. It has always been about more than what we do as a individual. The world is bigger than one person.

But the feelings of despair, frustration, anger, pain, tired, discomfort, tired are palpable. We as individuals choose to be who we are. The world shapes us by providing us many of the options that limit who we become. Rarely are we able to find our way into being something the world does not want us to be.

But the grand scheme of things is rooted in the simple fact that we collectively do not see the humanity in part of our society. We lie to ourselves and say that we can, we love, and that we truly are good people. We speak about how it is a shame that people are homeless, have no food to eat, no healthcare, no clean air, and on and on. Yet when we talk amongst our family and friends, attend our churches and social gatherings we avoid the reality that is in front of us.

I know so many people that proclaim to care and love for me as a individual. That they do not see me as anything but a caring and loving person. That they do not see color or that color is not a issue for them. These same people are within the group of people that cannot find the common humanity in myself nor others that look like me. The narrative swiftly changes when it comes to collective action.

People love to change the subject when discussing issues that they are not personally impacted by. They sincerely believe that things cannot be that bad. We have for decades, and if we are going to be honest it is centuries worth, seen that people care individually about others but collectively care only about themselves.

There is always a justification about why they feel the way they feel. From the we need smaller government, there needs to be more individual accountability, we need less government in our lives, race did not play a factor, there are just a few bad ones but overall it is not bad people as a whole, on and on and on. At no point is the problem the system itself. Not the people that passively sit back and find individuals at fault rather than the structure that allows those individuals to run rampant in the system.

I have spoken over the years about my dislike for law enforcement as a whole. There are plenty of good members of the law enforcement structure but the structure itself is not built upon a foundation that allows bad members to be easily weeded out. Good members are forced to be silent when bad members do things. Because we as members of society back the whole of the system and that means the bad ones as well. The good ones are often ostracized by speaking out, which allows the bad ones to continue. When bad things happen it is commonly stated that it is an anomaly. But has anyone bad been removed because someone good reported them? That is the rarity, not the norm.

Our society is good at making people that report harm the problem rather than dealing with those that cause harm appropriately. Yes people can make false accusations but making a false accusation is causing harm and they should be dealt with as well. But that is not how our society works. When you speak up about someone causing harm you often are told to sit down and just accept it, or worse you are treated like the problem and instead are attacked on your character. Why is that?

Society truly is sad, pathetic, and shameful. I am a member of that society.